To those that come to you, seeking guidance, advice and spiritual help, they sense you will indeed help them on their travels. You of course know you will. No matter how tired, stressed or unbalanced you feel at the time of their arrival you will help. You see behind their eyes almost as though you see their souls. The sight sometimes is not pretty, can be scary but you look past that for it has been given to you to do so.

Those of you that know of what I am speaking of know the feeling that comes over you. There is noting that you can or will do in order to stop the flow of “seeing". Wondering are you giving the right advice or leading them on the right path to where they belong. You know that you can only tell them what you see or feel. This is the best you are able to do.

If you are lucky you will hear them tell you how you have helped them. It may be minutes, hours days or even years that you are helping yet the gratitude will be there. Seeing those that you have and are helping is what it is all about at times. You did not ask them to come to you, they were lead there by some call unbeknownst to them and you. They were sent to you. They do not know why. I have heard this time and time again from those that i have counseled. They just knew they had to be seen by me. Sometimes they did not know it was actually me until we spoke.

If you are on the path of spiritual adviser you also know how tired you become. Not of helping but the energy that it takes. Or is that only myself feeling this way? After a long day of speaking, seeing and feeling of those that come to me I am drained. Or even worse I feel a dark period.

During this dark period I think of things like this. Our days often times seen like the darkest of nights. No hope, no peace, no answers from within. Feelings of discomfort, loneliness and isolation sinks in, Drowning in a pool of sorrow. Not knowing if the sorrow is truly personal or the hang over from someone else’s persona.

Turning inward trying to find a way out of this, seeing still the darkness.

Where is the shining light that guides? Has it gone out for me personally? Has it left, slipped past like a fine mist in the early morn? Cutting through the mist can be more than trying. Nothing seems to dissipate it. Not even chocolate does the job. The feelings only intensifies, Those around offer help, kind words, praise, yet it is not the help that we are seeking.

Time and time again asking will the help ever come? Will our personal guides arrive just in time with the answers and warmth that we are in dire need of? The only answer ringing in the mind is “not this time".

There is no quick fix realizing this is a step forward yet a step back.

How to fix the inner turmoil of the darkness?

Trying all the tried and true methods and techniques such as meditating, incense, potions, rituals and requesting from our spiritual guides that is always there. The list goes on and on yet nothing happens.

No fear is showing only a grasping despair that is growing larger with each moment. Present this to the Universe for an answer. Isn’t this what we do, telling others the same thing, Only when at this time you do it, the Universe has appeared to turn a deaf ear. Or has it? Wondering and waiting. Still nothing.

The answer to your plea is apparent. Walk away from the magickal and mystical world that you belong to. For in thinking, isn’t it all an illusion? It is the power that of belief. You believe but the power is gone. A world built upon myth, lore and fables. Not to mention the tons and tons of books written on the subject. All from someone else’s perspective.

The tools, the books, the things most cherished seem to be empty. Then again, they are only materialistic “things” to set the stage to further the performance of you the actor. Looking at these things this way, you can feel the curtain closing. There is no stage bow to the crowd. Only you standing alone. Tired.

Going through this darkness nothing seems as it was. No comfort, no peace no assurance. Only one standing in the cold of their own cross roads of spiritual exhaustion. One asking a question for their selves and no answer is returned.

Doubts in belief may happen. The belief structure that has been established is now crumbling away. The foundation in which stood firm and solid is shaking under foot.

Prayers, shouts, pleas and begging to our beloved gods and goddesses still show nothing.

Sitting back it is felt that the spirit is going leaving only an empty husk which was filled with total and unconditional devotion. Maybe it wasn’t ever there. Maybe that to was an illusion.

Thinking of those you have helped and yet there is little you feel you are doing for yourself. Is there help on the way? Are there answers coming? Will there be that sudden bright light that will once more warm your soul?

Where is the help for the helper? Who helps us on our pathway? Especially in times of need and blackness of the soul? Yes, we have mentors but there comes a time when the mentor relinquishes your hand and you must travel this path alone. You must simply “be". This is hard for mentor and student to do. But it is reality of magickal life.

What happens to us? Nobody knows what we go through. Those that are the helpers of others. People too often think we are filled with the power and knowledge that never ends. We are those that never tire, never tire. Yet we need comfort, guidance and more just like everyone else in our world. Sometimes more.

About this time you may be thinking “then just walk away, stop". Some of have and returned knowing it is our path to be who and what we are. It is not so easy to turn away from what we must do.

It would be nice for those around us to realize that those that have special gifts need comfort. We also have periods of doubts, loneliness and despair that fills us.

The remedy is out there, we just must wait for it to come to us. We must persevere in what we believe is true. Pull more from within and know deep down that our foundation is not slipping away. It is only a growing period. A time to look at ourselves and what we are really doing. A time of direction showing us that we are not in balance with the guides and forces that we have. They are letting us see what we need to see within ourselves. For it is free will to be the way we are. To give our talent and gift freely to others. We have chosen this way of life for many reasons. The devotion is there, it never left. In giving so much of ourselves to help people we must learn to give back to ourselves, this is the answer from the Gods, Goddesses and Guides.

We will doubt again. We will enter the dark realm of our soul. This is something that aids our path to enlightenment. The true answer is given by the Universe, you just have to listen and hear it. Not ignore it by wrapping yourself up in self pity.

The darkness may be there but there is always a candle to light the way.

Anyone have a match for me?